I'm tired.
Tired of being angry, tired of trying to figure out who my enemies are and how to get the best of them.
Tired of trying to figure out who my allies are and if they truly are to be trusted.
Something has got to give.
Like many of you out there I lost my shit when the results of the 2016 U.S. Presidential Election came in. Disbelief. Outrage. Fear. Grief. My emotions ran the gamut. It wasn't really a wake up call, since I've always been politically aware to some degree. Just a shock.
Being a child of the 60’s and 70’s, my first impulse was to join my voice with others in the streets, to “fight the power”. Literally marching forward, to try to keep the progress that I felt our nation has made, was what my inclination and reaction were. My second impulse was to try to understand. I know that a lot of liberal people like myself, would go listen to Fox News or other conservative media to try to get a picture of the other side. Keep your friends close, but enemies even closer, and all that. Tuning into any one-sided media really doesn't work for me. So, I continued reacting to the moment by moment ticker-tape of increasingly alarming developments. Making phone calls, signing petitions, talking to like-minded people.
However, over the ensuing weeks and months, some quiet thoughts that have been at the back of my mind for quite some time have gently but insistently pushed their way to the front.
The first one that kind of surfaced was; "Is this how the other side has been feeling for the past 8 years? If so, I feel sincerely sorry for them, because this is a terrible way to live!"
The second thought was, empires fall. They do. The British, the Spanish, the Moors, Rome. Everything that has a beginning has an end. Pretending that our current empire/societal structure is an exception is just denial.
So what to do with all these persistent thoughts and feelings? I'm know I'm not alone in watching in disgust as Facebook turns into a dogmatically polarized forum. We know we have a choices. We can opt out entirely, keep our post apolitical, join in the vitriolic name calling and finger-pointing, or participate in a thoughtful, hopefully uplifting way. I admit it’s easier to ignore the politics and keep posting recipes, pictures of cute kids and animals. But that's not for me, either.
So, digressing for a moment here, I had made a conscious commitment right after the election, which held for about month or so until I broke it. Because I'll admit, I'm a hothead, a natural-born smart ass. But about 2 weeks ago I recommitted, and I'm glad.
My decision was that number one: I would stay away from Facebook and Twitter's “trending” topics. Sorry y'all, but it's a time suck and more often than not I end up pissed and feeling helpless. That's not how I want to spend my time.
More importantly, I decided that when confronted by a hostile response from a stranger to something I've said online, I wouldn't respond in kind. Rather than ramp up the argument and try to “win”, I'd do the following. I’d offer to 'Friend' the person and speak to them one on one. You know, like adults did in the old days when they had a difference of opinion.
So far I've done it twice. The first time was right after the election. I spent the greater part of the day speaking with a friend of a friend who had voted for Trump. What I found was that he was a smart, funny, engaging person with real feelings and that we had similar life experiences. But as I mentioned, old habits die hard. Time passed and I fell of the wagon and succumbed a bit to the general reactionary climate. Until about 2 weeks ago when another opportunity for deeper mutual understanding arose.
My partner this time was from another state and was cautious, but open to dialog. She and I have been talking back and forth, not about politics, but about things we have in common such as our shared love of travel. Both instances were very humanizing encounters. I find myself thinking about these two people as individuals when I get angry about what's happening in our country. Bringing back what has always been in my mind: that no matter how it is expressed, we all have the same basic needs and desires. Basically they are food, shelter, and love. What we do to obtain them is where it gets tangled. Keeping in mind that basic need has served me well over and over again.
What else do I do in response to the time in which we're living?
I shift the focus from the external world to the internal one. I’ve been honing a meditation practice with varying degrees of "success" for about 25 years. As I get older, I find it's much easier to see the big picture for humanity when I understand myself.
Getting quiet every day helps with that. What I see is that life is not strictly linear as depicted in history books. To quote the writers of one of my favorite shows, Doctor Who,- The Tenth Doctor: " People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually, from a nonlinear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff." I like that, but to me it seems even more of a Fibonacci spiral, with ideas and actions starting as starting small, growing and then dissipating out.
Something I recently heard Oprah say has deeply resonated with me, in regard to how I aim to be right now. With this ridiculously long sentence, I'll give you the gist of it; going forward, it’s to my advantage to get clear on what my vision is for my place in the world, to consider whether the intentions behind my actions line up with this vision, and to remember Newton’s 3rd law: that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. With no guarantee of how or when that reaction will show up.
Tired of being angry, tired of trying to figure out who my enemies are and how to get the best of them.
Tired of trying to figure out who my allies are and if they truly are to be trusted.
Something has got to give.
Like many of you out there I lost my shit when the results of the 2016 U.S. Presidential Election came in. Disbelief. Outrage. Fear. Grief. My emotions ran the gamut. It wasn't really a wake up call, since I've always been politically aware to some degree. Just a shock.
Being a child of the 60’s and 70’s, my first impulse was to join my voice with others in the streets, to “fight the power”. Literally marching forward, to try to keep the progress that I felt our nation has made, was what my inclination and reaction were. My second impulse was to try to understand. I know that a lot of liberal people like myself, would go listen to Fox News or other conservative media to try to get a picture of the other side. Keep your friends close, but enemies even closer, and all that. Tuning into any one-sided media really doesn't work for me. So, I continued reacting to the moment by moment ticker-tape of increasingly alarming developments. Making phone calls, signing petitions, talking to like-minded people.
However, over the ensuing weeks and months, some quiet thoughts that have been at the back of my mind for quite some time have gently but insistently pushed their way to the front.
The first one that kind of surfaced was; "Is this how the other side has been feeling for the past 8 years? If so, I feel sincerely sorry for them, because this is a terrible way to live!"
The second thought was, empires fall. They do. The British, the Spanish, the Moors, Rome. Everything that has a beginning has an end. Pretending that our current empire/societal structure is an exception is just denial.
So what to do with all these persistent thoughts and feelings? I'm know I'm not alone in watching in disgust as Facebook turns into a dogmatically polarized forum. We know we have a choices. We can opt out entirely, keep our post apolitical, join in the vitriolic name calling and finger-pointing, or participate in a thoughtful, hopefully uplifting way. I admit it’s easier to ignore the politics and keep posting recipes, pictures of cute kids and animals. But that's not for me, either.
So, digressing for a moment here, I had made a conscious commitment right after the election, which held for about month or so until I broke it. Because I'll admit, I'm a hothead, a natural-born smart ass. But about 2 weeks ago I recommitted, and I'm glad.
My decision was that number one: I would stay away from Facebook and Twitter's “trending” topics. Sorry y'all, but it's a time suck and more often than not I end up pissed and feeling helpless. That's not how I want to spend my time.
More importantly, I decided that when confronted by a hostile response from a stranger to something I've said online, I wouldn't respond in kind. Rather than ramp up the argument and try to “win”, I'd do the following. I’d offer to 'Friend' the person and speak to them one on one. You know, like adults did in the old days when they had a difference of opinion.
So far I've done it twice. The first time was right after the election. I spent the greater part of the day speaking with a friend of a friend who had voted for Trump. What I found was that he was a smart, funny, engaging person with real feelings and that we had similar life experiences. But as I mentioned, old habits die hard. Time passed and I fell of the wagon and succumbed a bit to the general reactionary climate. Until about 2 weeks ago when another opportunity for deeper mutual understanding arose.
My partner this time was from another state and was cautious, but open to dialog. She and I have been talking back and forth, not about politics, but about things we have in common such as our shared love of travel. Both instances were very humanizing encounters. I find myself thinking about these two people as individuals when I get angry about what's happening in our country. Bringing back what has always been in my mind: that no matter how it is expressed, we all have the same basic needs and desires. Basically they are food, shelter, and love. What we do to obtain them is where it gets tangled. Keeping in mind that basic need has served me well over and over again.
What else do I do in response to the time in which we're living?
I shift the focus from the external world to the internal one. I’ve been honing a meditation practice with varying degrees of "success" for about 25 years. As I get older, I find it's much easier to see the big picture for humanity when I understand myself.
Something I recently heard Oprah say has deeply resonated with me, in regard to how I aim to be right now. With this ridiculously long sentence, I'll give you the gist of it; going forward, it’s to my advantage to get clear on what my vision is for my place in the world, to consider whether the intentions behind my actions line up with this vision, and to remember Newton’s 3rd law: that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. With no guarantee of how or when that reaction will show up.
It is for these reasons that I consider very carefully what I resist and what form that resistance takes.
More often than not it’s taking the form of creation rather than reaction and direct resistance. I'm seeing the results of the actions of others with this mindset out in the world, and I find these actions feel like a step in the right direction.
For me, I keep coming back the inescapable reality that we are all on this big, round planet, Earth, together. We flourish or we perish, together. So, I’m going to continue to try not to get wrapped up in who is right and who is wrong. Because, simply put, there are no sides to a circle.
I'm so glad you've opened this public dialogue!
ReplyDeleteMe too, I feel like the best way for us to survive is to talk to one another with respectful, open hearts.
DeleteNot the best way... The only way!
ReplyDelete