Keeping the Fire

Two weekends ago, I attended the first ever California Women of Color Herbal Symposium.  My first impulse was to come home and blog about it right away. But then I thought, "Let me just sit back a minute and let it sink in".  So often, we as people will experience something wondrous, and immediately declare it life changing, only to find that a few days later, it was not.  Within a short period of time we are back to our old patterns.

At the symposium, I was able to get back to some things I have loved and really missed doing. To study plant medicine, exchange knowledge and give thanks for all the beauty that surrounds me.  To sit in complete silence by a river. Something I haven't really done since I was a teen.  To be with people who get this journey I'm on, without having to explain myself or apologize for being who I am. Through the Rite of the Womb, led by Melbra Watts, to be able to contemplate what I want in my life and what I don't.  There at the river I experienced the freedom to let go of what was no longer serving me.  

Prior to the retreat I had a pretty healthy diet which I already begun to transform even further to suit my needs.  The meals at the symposium were amazingly delicious, vegetarian and sometimes vegan meals, exclusively, and really showed me what I had forgotten was possible.

Immediately upon returning home, I experienced a transformation in my relationships with my husband and son, quite to their delight, I might add.  Creatively, I found myself inspired and my mind inundated with fresh ideas. In the back of my mind, though, was a slight fear of losing this feeling. The threat of returning to the status quo. I have decided, however, that this doesn't need to happen. I also thought for this blog entry, that rather than rehash in detail what I experienced at the herbal symposium, it would be more helpful to talk about how I am keeping my momentum.

The main thing I am doing when the temptation arises to fall into old habits with family, is remember what it felt like to see their faces when I shifted from criticism to loving understanding. 
I quite like it. 

So,  in situations when I feel my temper rising, I am reminding myself I can chose a better feeling.

The second key thing, is giving thanks, every morning.  Again, I had done this in the past, but it had fallen by the wayside. At the opening ceremony, one of the teachers, Patricia St. Onge, led us in reciting a sort of prayer that she had learned from her Mohawk heritage. Find a link to similar one that I've kept in my meditation space for a few years, and have reactivated here: https://www.syracuseculturalworkers.com/products/poster-greetings-and-thanks-to-the-natural-world

Third thing I have realized I need to anchor this change, is time to myself. Whether it be 10 minutes of meditation in the morning or an hour long solitary walk, (preferably both).  I am finding that if I neglect this for more than a day I feel very much out of sorts. After a two or three days I start to feel and act like a martyr.  So this is now non-negotiable. One Joan of Arc is enough.

I'm sending out a big thank you to Tanya Henderson, Kanchan Dawn Hunter and everyone who participated in the California Women of Color Herbal Symposium for helping bring me back to myself. Using these practices, along with making conscious choices as to what I put into my body and mind, I feel the effect of attending this retreat will be with me for the long run.